Trying to make sense

I have been wandering down an empty street
trying to make sense of all this.
I lost my heart not long ago,
the tear stains still visable on my cheek.
Love is an interesting part of our existence
it makes us believe we can fly
when critical moments happen we question why all this?
Why feel lost or missing?
I wander aimlessly, just for the sake of thinking to myself
quiet thoughts are the deadliest they can be mistaken for reality
the nonsense that can congest up in the mind can make anyone lose.
I keep going back and rethinking what I've already thought
and then reminding myself it's not all real
but in there lies the problem,
some of it is real, some of it so real it took my breath away
I didn't think I could get it back,
I gasped for air, for more time to think
to much was flooding towards me I sank into despair and regret,
but no, this is not me.
I am not lost am not missing
I am real and all these things did happen, for that I am certain
and no matter how much thought and wandering I put into it
I will end up in the same place wondering where it went wrong.
Where did I go wrong, where did he?
Is there a reason? Maybe not.
Some mistakes happen because of ignorance not retaliation or vengeance
some happen because no one thought it would
and fate had something to prove.
I get it, I can't change what will happen no matter what I do
the changes I've made in myself, in my head, all for what?
Just to be pushed into the ground once again.
To be placed in my agonizing head full of thoughts.
Thinking and rethinking all of this....