So much...

It's all really starting to sink in. I'm leaving. My stomach is in knots, I've been shaking whenever I eat. I don't what to do. I know I have to go but it's so scary. I know things will feel strange for awhile and hopefully being with my family will ease this a bit but fuck!!! I just don't want to feel like this anymore. Knowing we love each other and we just can't get it together sucks. On our way home from Kingston we both were silent and then we'd look at each other and I know he's feeling this as much as I am. It's torture loving someone and knowing we have to part. I know obsessing about it isn't doing me any good, but that's all my mind will let me think about. So much of our lives were beautiful, we still laugh and hug and even kiss. My girlfriend thinks the second I drive away he'll understand truly what has happened to us. And as mom says if he loves me he can prove to me he's certain he wants me by coming to get me. If you love something, let it go, if it is meant to be it'll find you.