Pushing my entire life just to breathe, to hope that tomorrow will be the day that changes how I live. I feel like I only live in the moment when things are ok. When things go bad or stress me out I either live in the memory of things gone horribly wrong or in the future that hasn't Happened yet.
I want to live in the present all the time because what a waste of a life that isn't enjoying the here and now.
The hard thing about here and now is that it is real. There are no guises or pretences of what happened or what should happen. There's only truth and reality which scares most of us. I know I'm scared. I'm scared that who I think I am may not be what other people see. I feel I am losing myself in my sorrow. I honestly feel I am losing intelligence because I am wallowing in my past and the mistakes I've made.
What is the purpose of that? None. I am only losing myself little by little by holding onto things that I've failed at.
I wish I had answers. But I don't. All I have is now. What am I doing now to better my life? There's no one to blame because I am alone. They are my past and I now have complete control of my future. Only me. I should grasp this chance and change my life forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment