Last night here

I'm sitting here alone, sad, frustrated that this life I had has come to an end. Dan is out as usual and that hurts that he can just move on with life, easily it seems. Who knows what goes on in his head. I know he's sad but I don't think he's feeling this like I am. I'm scared and worried about this trip about driving alone about being alone about losing myself in my thoughts. People keep telling me how strong I am for standing up for myself and taking this leap of faith but I don't feel strong. I feel weak. I feel sick to my stomach. I love Dan with every part of my heart and that's the scariest part of all of this. Will I find him again? If not will I ever love again? I've been betrayed so many times I don't know how I could trust anyone with my heart. It's broken into tiny fragments and I don't know if I'll ever pick up all the pieces.