Patterns

Trying to figure out my patterns and why I keep ending up in the same spot. I believe I just doubt myself so I go where it is comfortable which is silly, because how will I change my life if I keep heading down the same paths? I have weaknesses like drinking And drugs, I like these vices but those things hold me back from experiencing real life. I want to see so many things and accomplish so many things so why can't I just stick to making these changes? Why do I give up on myself so easily? It frustrates me because I know how far I could make it if I'd just stop fucking around and start really focusing. I need to stop making excuses about why I can't and say I can.