Month End

The weekend is upon us and I am still sick. It's hard to believe that this much crap can come out of one little nose. LOL! I'm a little like Rudolph cause my nose has changed to a nice red shade! We don't have any plans really this weekend, I'm just glad that we can entertain ourselves just by being with each other. We watched a few movies last night, majorly disappointed because there was so much hype about them and they weren't really that great! I am going to be painting this weekend on Sunday for sure, and I promise to take a few pictures of my last endevours so that you all can appreciate them as well. Oh and mom and family are moving up here! I am so happy and thankful that I will have everyone so close by. Hopefully we can spend lots of happy hours together. Overall March was a nice month, chilly and storm filled and of course there were the ups and downs, but I gave lots of love and had lots of love given to me. So lots to be thankful for!

Easter weekend

I am sick and feeling like poo. It was a long weekend, lots of driving back and forth from Kingston to NewBurgh to Brockville. It was very nice seeing family though. Jaana made a nice dinner at dads for Dan, Kassy and I. Unfortunately Mike was sick so Marieanne, Devin and Andre couldn't come up. Missed you guys. Then we headed out to Dans dads place. We didn't do much there just hung out a bit but it was good.

Dan and I spent a nice quiet Sunday together. We've come to nickname our Sundays "FAT SUNDAY" as we purposely try to do nothing but cuddle, eat and watch movies. Its great especially in winter cause I hate being out in the cold. This summer will be a different story. We don't have a boat this year but I really hope we can get out on the water and go to the beach and really appreciate the outdoors. Dan got spoiled last night by me, I had yet another day off so I spent the morning taking it easy, did a bit of cleaning. In the afternoon I went and did some grocery shopping and then laundry and came home and cleaned our place some more. Then I made dinner; a feat I do not attempt often. It was a hit, Dan was very happy that he didn't have to cook after work.

So now I'm back to work and reality and happy about it. I get bored if I stay home to long. I wish I had the motivation to do some painting as I have some fantastic ideas. Art is a funny thing, talent can only take you so far the rest is really up to how inspired you are in that moment.

Venting

I often think that things will just all fall apart, I feel that I am always setting myself up for disaster. It's a hard thing to describe because it's really all in my head. Especially when I don't have control of a situation, it frustrates me because I need stability and the only stability I've ever known is what I've created myself. So when these moments of no control happen I freak out that things aren't what I expected. I am somewhat high maintenance in that respect, because since I give every part of myself to something or somebody I feel I should get the same back. So when I don't, my life feels as though its gone to pieces. I feel unappreciated, but I shouldn't.
This is so difficult to write without sounding like someone did something horrible. Nothing bad has happened, its just the circumstances that frustrate me. I just want as much effort put into me as I put out. If I was to jump out on a limb for someone I would want them right there beside me. Does any of this make sense?
I'm just venting, I really am loved and appreciated most of the time, just these few moments of frailty shatter my dream. I guess I should get my head out of the clouds and look at the big real picture and quit exaggerating small inconveniences.

Slushed

I woke up this morning feeling sick and head achy. I still drove Dan to work and went to the gym. I got home and still wasn't feeling great but I pulled myself together somewhat and got ready to work. I started walking to work and I wiped out cause the sidewalks aren't cleaned from the last storm. My ankle a bit sore I started walking on the street cause it isn't slippery there. Most drivers going by me slowed down as to not splash me. Except one....this person...seemed to have sped up and soaked me with slush from head to toe! So sick, hurt my ankle and then got slushed....not the best way to start a day. Wish me luck for the rest of it.

Just an add on....this day actually got worse! I got off work and no sooner had I begun walking home I got a call from Dan that he had been hit in the head by a boulder at work. I rushed over to his site and we went to the hospital. We waited for 3 hours before he saw a doctor. Once we got in we had to be transfered to the other hospital so that Dan's head could be scanned. We tried to keep our spirts high as we waited at the other hospital another 2 hours. We joked that we needed to scan his cat rather than having a CAT scan. So after all was said and done he was cleared to go home. It was 1:30am by the time we got home and he was a bit slow witted but ok overall. Thank GOD!

Loving Life

I am so excited to hear another member of my family(Andre) is moving close by. I love that I will be able to see my siblings more frequently as I haven't been able to in past years. It's a blessing in so many ways! I have been incredibly happy the last few days, but before that I had another bout of depression which latest longer than normal, almost 3 days. Dan was very patient trying to understand why I get like that. It's unexplainable most times. It feels just like an overwhelming sadness with no particular cause. So, those dark feelings left, and I had the opposite feeling of happiness come over me that hasn't dissipated yet. Happy happy happy!

Nonsense

Sometimes I feel like my brain has shut down, there is no activity at all. It's silly but really, sometimes at work there is nothing to do and I truly have a brain fart (forgive the pun).
This is what's happening to me now! There are no customers and I have been reading my book and playing online but my brain just stops retaining anything and I go into this zombie like trance and have to force myself to do something...anything to wake up! HAHA! Not that this is important enough to share but hey I needed to do something to re-energize my mind. So WAKE UP BRAIN!

Brain is shut down must focus, wake up
I'm tired and mindless and in a slump
nothing to do work is a bore
maybe read or draw something
anything to allure
those little brain particles back into action
oh look a customer I can do a transaction
now he's gone what next to do
hmm.. let me think ahh.. a sudoku!

That just came to me...haha I'm funny!

It's the little things...

After having a beautiful 6 degree day, what does mother nature do just to let us know that winter is definitely NOT over? We get hit with an ice and snow storm, a mild one but still! I had to walk home in this last night, mind you its only a ten minute walk from work to home but when the wind is whipping against you with a wind chill of minus 7 degrees its a painful walk. I get a call from Dan when I'm a block away from home to see when I'll get there. As I walked through our front door, Dan runs up to me grabs my coat and bag and sets them down then proceeds to push me towards the bathroom, all the while taking off my clothes. I'm a little confused at this point wondering what he's up to. We turn into the bathroom and he's got a bath run for me with candles and some Michael Buble playing in the background! As soon as I lay in the tub he went running off somewhere and comes back with a little beverage for me. He had this little devilish grin, like he knew he had done good and was oh so proud of himself for having thought up this wonderful experience. I have said it before and will say it to the day I die, it's really these little things that make every day life so incredible. I marvel at the fact that I have found someone who appreciates these sweet gestures as much as I do. It's really quite amazing.

A few words that I like
Serendipity: an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident, good fortune; luck
Enchantment: a feeling of great liking for something wonderful and unusual; a psychological state induced by a magical incantation, a magical spell
Felicity: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy

Undecided

I can't seem to make up my mind,

when a decision is there to be made.

I become confused and frustrated

cause my thoughts are not clearly displayed.

Confused as to why, my mind won't wake up,

its truly a mystery to me.

I want to try and decide on something,

anything really, you see?

Its not that I'm silly or stupid at all

I just don't know what to do.

When it comes to making decisions,

I'd rather leave it up to you!

copyright 2008-Christina Lavigne

March is here

So, I am happy that spring is coming. Winter is beautiful at times but really, enough is enough. It is 6 degrees today and I just got the whif of spring and it put a jump in my step. I heard birds chirping this moring and I couldn't believe how fast time is flying.
I just received notification that I am now a semi-finalist in the poetry competetion and I am so excited. I want to win so bad because I always make it into the top 10 but never win anything. So it would be amazing to actually win 1st place! So vote for me if you can on www.poetry.com!